I wonder if I’m ever standing up in your dreams;
Am I always horizontal, folded…prone?
Am I always; on my back, on my stomach, on my knees?
Do I ever have a choice?
Is it ever my decision?
I wonder do I ever get tired?
Do you ever stop – or is it endless?
Do I ‘always’ enjoy it?
Do I ever cum?
Do you? – Or is it endless?
I wonder, if I can even talk?
Or do I just grunt – moan - - - SCREAM?
Do I atleast have a voice?
Can’t I atleast, beg for it?
Can I, Do I, get to say your name,
tell you I love you…tell you to stop?
Do you listen?
If I refuse, if I’m tired, or if I die –
will it continue?
Or is it endless?
I wonder if you look into my eyes?
I wonder if you listen to my heart?
I wonder if you, go down on me,
or am I the only one sucking – licking – tasting?
Do you ever recognize my needs; my wants; my emotions?
Or am I just yours?
Am I just there?
Am I just, my openings?
How does it begin?
Do I ever have clothes?
Are you just, in me?
Are you gentle, rough, do you ever hit me?
Do we ever just lie there?
Or is it endless?
I wonder when you wake, am I still in your dream?
Am I ever myself;
or am I just, my openings?
Can you hear me now that you’re awake,
or am I still voiceless;
Though you’re awake, are you still in me –
or is it endless?

Justin is a student enrolled in the Yale Prison Education Initiative. He is incarcerated at Macdougall-Walker Correctional Institution.