how i get my protein is none of your business

i put a cat in a blender.       my mother knows.
and still       loves me! report       me
to the fat man.       he’ll know       how to
punish me.       most days, i belong in an
omelette. other       days, i belong in a
wedding. i eat       my own animal.
everything is like       a shark
except you. i am a       righteous
hairball. hear       me       snore.
i put a cat in a blender.       no one
screamed! (my       father
yawned.) his mouth is like a
steel beam. he seldom       melts.
i am a       diamond in
the soft. i am so       easy. i take care
of myself, and       all of my
kittens. i put a cat in a blender.
i do not eat it. i       cover my
mouth with a       napkin.
i am my       best       self.
i saw       my mother’s   heart.
it was covered in       leopard print.
i put it back.